To make sure it does not become ‘your word against theirs’, take a screenshot of the posts or comments to help you if you want to make a report.
These can keep the facts clear and avoid any confusion and can support you with any next steps.
If you need help, advice or support with any kind of online issue, Netsafe can help.
They are a non-profit organisation with a helpline set up to help people with online safety and online issues.
Netsafe have years of experience in helping young people deal with harm online, their service is free and confidential.
Find out more by visiting their website or checking out the services section.
Your page or account should be somewhere positive and if someone is messing with that, you can remove negative/hurtful posts or comments.
On Facebook, click on the three dots to the right of the comment and then it will show ‘Remove this’ click and then a box will check that you want to delete the comment. Click Delete.
On Instagram, swipe left on the comment. Choose the final icon, the bin on red background, tap it and the comment will be deleted (tap again to undo).
On Snapchat, any comments get sent to you through chat so you can delete them from there, they are not posted publicly like other platforms.
There are a wide range of reporting tools that you can use to ask for comments or posts to be taken down or to Block the Sender so they cannot see or comment on what you post.
The content does need to breach the standards of the platform and sometimes, hurting your feelings or being mean might not be enough for them to take it down. That does not mean that the content is ok, it just means that it is not clear enough to the platform that this is serious.
They will take the report more seriously if it comes directly from you (rather than having a friend report it).
Check out the icons below for how you can report negative or harmful posts or comments on the different platforms.
Take a look at your privacy settings and lock down who can send you messages and see your posts. That way, you can have more control over what you receive and who can get in touch with you.
If things have got nasty with one person, often they will get their friends involved too so using the privacy settings can help stop you having to deal with this too.
Check out the TAKING CHARGE section for how to do that through the different Social Media and Messaging sites
We know that this is not always possible or even something you would want to do, but in some cases , the person might not realise that the content is bothering you.
In some cases, especially if you do not think the person has deliberately set out to mess with you, having a conversation with them about the photos or video and the impact it is having can be effective. Keep calm and try not to get into insults.
Let them know that you would like it taken down and that you don’t think it is funny to be included.
Get in touch with a friend who you trust. Let them know what is happening and give them a chance to give their perspective on it.
They might be able to see it in a way that gives you an insight into what other people think when they see the photos or videos. You might be thinking that everyone has seen it and are all laughing at you but this might not actually be the case.
Your friend might also have had a similar experience and be able to offer you advice.
Talking it through also gives you the chance to work out what you want to do about the situation and stops it from festering inside your mind.
If you have taken some of the other steps and it is still having a negative impact on your life each time you log on, consider taking a break from your social media.
Spend some time doing things you enjoy with people that make you smile. Give yourself some space from dwelling on the photo or video and this distance might help you make some better decisions later on.
Instagram gives you the option to ‘temporarily disable your account’ so that you can take a break without losing your photos and contacts.
How to Temporarily Disable your account on Instagram
Facebook lets you Deactivate your account so you can do the same thing and give yourself some space.
Harming someone by Targeting or Harassing them online can be against the law
In New Zealand, there is now a law to help tackle the most serious instances of bullying and harassment by people using digital technology.
This is the Harmful Digital Communications Act (HDCA).
It is illegal to send messages and post material online that deliberately causes a victim ‘serious emotional distress’.
What does that mean?
It means that as well as reporting it to different Social Media Platforms, you have additional support available to you to get photos, other hurtful images or messages taken down and stop them from being shared again.
This can be through Netsafe, the District Court or the Police and can involve either criminal or civil remedies. Criminal Remedies Criminal remedies could include a fine of up to $50,000 (for an individual) or up to two years in jail. There are also criminal OR civil remedies under the The Harmful Digital Communications Act (HDCA) if someone causes ‘serious emotional distress’ online. The criminal remedies do not apply to children (aged 0-13), but can be applied to young people aged 14-16 (within the youth justice system) and individuals aged 17+ (who are treated as adults within the formal criminal justice system). This also means that the police may be involved and that there is a clear process that is followed after you report what is happening. In some cases this will involve a court case. It is important to remember that for the police to charge somebody with breaking a law, they have to have enough evidence to clearly prove who it was and exactly what happened. The police also have to weigh up whether what is happening to you, meets all of the requirements of the law. Sometimes, even though it is not ok and making you really upset, this is not enough to charge someone. Civil Remedies Netsafe can support you with some civil remedies including working with both parties to reach a resolution, working with online content hosts (like Social Media platforms) but they cannot punish anyone or force them to do something. Civil remedies could also involve a court order where a person can be forced to remove or delete content, give an apology or the identity of someone who posted anonymously revealed.
The main one that is being used for someone bullying or harassing you online is the Harmful Digital Communications Act.
Other options or remedies are available under:
Bonnie talks about a rumour spread by a jealous ex that she was in a gang bang and how this was accepted as the truth. The hate and abuse that followed made her feel alone and worthless until she had an opportunity for a fresh start.
Tim talks about being bullied and that he should kill himself to deal with his problems and how he got support to get through.
Eve shares her story about feeling bullied online and a threat made about her and what she did to get through the situation.
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Sonia talks about a hate page that was set up at her school about someone else and how she stepped in to help.
Jen talks about being bullied online and getting a message ‘out of the blue’ to kill herself.
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