What are my options?

Ignore it

If this is the first time you’ve received nude images from this person, they may be experimenting with you or looking for a reaction or response.  

If you ignore the message, this can often give the signal that you are not interested in seeing any more.  

Rethink Sharing it

It can be really tempting to share the photo with your friends or even ‘name and shame’ the sender publicly.

You might think it ‘will teach the person a lesson’ so that they won’t do it again.

Even though you have not asked for the photo, the person that sent it has not given you permission to share it and the person that you send it on to has not asked to see it either.  Let it stop with you.

Sharing a nude, even within a closed group could put you at risk of having a complaint made against you for sharing a nude image without permission.

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Ask them why they sent it

If someone you know sent you the photo or video (and you didn’t ask for it), you might want to simply ask “Why would you send me that picture?” and see what they say.

It might have been a genuine mistake or a misunderstanding.  This gives them an opportunity to explain themselves before you decide what to do next (if anything).  It also gives you a chance to let them know why you don’t want to receive photos like that and how you feel about them.

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Report it and Block the sender

All Social Media platforms have reporting tools and nudes would breach most of their standards.

Taking a screenshot of the photo and any messages sent alongside it can help you with your reporting.

You can also stop the chance of receiving any more nudes from the person by blocking them.

Check out the icons below to find out how to REPORT and BLOCK on the different platforms.

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Reply

If you do want to reply, you have a range of ways to do this depending on the situation and whether you know the sender.

It is important not to do this in the heat of the moment and to think carefully before replying.

  • Be direct.  Let them know that you did not ask for the nude and don’t want to receive any more.
  • Respond with “You must have sent this to me by mistake because I am sure you know that i would never want to have a photo like this on my phone”.
  • A simple ‘No’ reply can often work.
  • You might feel like humour could work in this situation but again, that can easily turn things nasty or make things worse.  Mocking the way they look in the pictures can either shut them down or it might make them more determined to get back at you and continue to harass (or even threaten) you.
  • You could also let the sender know that if any more are sent, you will report them and make a complaint with Netsafe.

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Talk to someone about it 

It can often be really weird, creepy or unsettling to receive a nude out of nowhere.

It can be helpful to share what happened with someone else so you can talk it through.  You can get advice or work out whether you need to take it further.

What else do you need to think about:

Sometimes the person sending you the pictures might be a friend who misinterpreted the signs and thought you wanted to be ‘more than friends’.  

This can get complicated, especially if it’s just an ‘innocent misunderstanding’. 

You could try making a joke out of the situation to keep it light hearted, or you could simply be straight up and say that the two of you are just mates.  

Even though it might be tempting to share the photos with your friends, this can be an offence under the Harmful Digital Communications Act (even if you did not ask for the photos in the first place).

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