If you know the person who commented and think that getting in touch directly would work, then this could be a quick and effective step.
They may not be aware that you would not want to be included or mentioned in comments or posts like this. They may see it as totally ok or even a bit of fun.
Let them know that having something like this out there in the public space is not something that you want.
Do this in a calm and clear way and let them know that you would like the post or comment deleted.
If you do not know the person but feel it is reasonable to ask them to take it down , and feel you can do this in a way that will not escalate the situation, choose your words carefully (maybe even get a friend to check it before you send it)
Talk to someone whose opinion you value and see what their take on it is.
They might have a different perspective to you and help you to look more objectively at the comment or post to decide whether anything needs to be done.
How does this influence the opinion of someone that does not know you? If it has a negative impact, this is a good sign that leaving it up may not be the best option.
If you need help, advice or support with any kind of online issue, Netsafe can help. They are a non-profit organisation with a helpline set up to help people with online safety and online issues.
Netsafe have years of experience in helping young people deal with harm online, their service is free and confidential.
Find out more by visiting their website or checking out the services section.
If you have been tagged in a post or comment and this is making more people you know see it, untag yourself.
Check out the icons in the REPORT section below for how to do this.
Public pages or groups will usually still have someone (or a few people) that take the responsibility as admin for what is put up.
You can report posts or comments to them so that they can review the content.
They also have the ability to remove the person from the group or even block them permanently.
On Facebook, the admin can send the comment onto the Facebook team if they choose rather than dealing with it themselves.
If there is not the option to report to the admin (or if you do not think they will review the post or comment objectively), you can report directly to the platform using the reporting tools.
Check out the icons below for more information on how to do this across the different platforms.
To make sure that you cannot be tagged in posts or comments in the future that you would rather not see (or have your friends and family see), change your settings so that you need to approve posts or comments before they go live.
Check out The TAKING CHARGE section for how to do this.
You might want to take a break from Social Media to help get some space.
Spending time with people who make you smile, doing things you enjoy can help you not get stuck with comments or posts that are bringing you down.
If the group or page is somewhere that is regularly negative or makes fun of people then you might want to consider what you get out of being part of it.
Harming someone by Targeting or Harassing them online can be against the law
In New Zealand, there is now a law to help tackle the most serious instances of harassment by people using digital technology.
This is the Harmful Digital Communications Act (HDCA).
It is illegal to send messages and post material online that deliberately causes a victim ‘serious emotional distress’ whether this happens once or more than once.
What does that mean?
It means that as well as reporting it to different Social Media Platforms, you have additional support available to you to get photos, other hurtful images or messages taken down and stop them from being shared again.
This can be through Netsafe, the District Court or the Police and can involve either criminal or civil remedies.
Criminal Remedies
Criminal remedies could include a fine of up to $50,000 (for an individual) or up to two years in jail.
There are also criminal OR civil remedies under the The Harmful Digital Communications Act (HDCA) if someone causes ‘serious emotional distress’ online.
The criminal remedies do not apply to children (aged 0-13), but can be applied to young people aged 14-16 (within the youth justice system) and individuals aged 17+ (who are treated as adults within the formal criminal justice system).
This also means that the police may be involved and that there is a clear process that is followed after you report what is happening. In some cases this will involve a court case.
It is important to remember that for the police to charge somebody with breaking a law, they have to have enough evidence to clearly prove who it was and exactly what happened.
The police also have to weigh up whether what is happening to you, meets all of the requirements of the law.
Sometimes, even though it is not ok and making you really upset, this is not enough to charge someone.
Civil Remedies
Netsafe can support you with some civil remedies including working with both parties to reach a resolution, working with online content hosts (like Social Media platforms) but they cannot punish anyone or force them to do something.
Civil remedies could also involve a court order where a person can be forced to remove or delete content, give an apology or the identity of someone who posted anonymously revealed.
What laws might apply?
The main one that is being used for someone bullying or harassing you online is the Harmful Digital Communications Act.
Other options or remedies are available under:
Helplines are there to help if you want to talk (kōrero) with someone about what is going on and how it is making you feel. You can openly and honestly share your feelings without worrying about being judged.
It’s normal to worry about asking for help – but at Youthline we are here to listen and help you figure out what is right for you.
0800 376 633 24/7 support
free text 234 between 8am and midnight
or email talk@youthline.co.nz
Online Chat
Youthline’s online chat service is open between 7pm-11pm
A safe place for you to talk about anything at all.
0800 942 8787 (for 5–18 year olds). Phone counselling is available Monday to Friday, midday–11pm and weekends, 3pm–11pm.
Online chat is available 7pm–10pm daily Click HERE
They do say “Because a lot of young people use online chat, there is often a wait time before a counsellor is available. So if you need to speak to someone straight away, phone What’s Up and speak to a counsellor in person”
At Kidsline we think everyone needs to be heard, and we want to be here to talk things through with you, and listen to what’s happening to you. So give us a call, and talk to one of our Buddies!
0800 54 37 54 (0800 kidsline) for young people up to 18 years of age.
Kidsline is available 24/7 however if you ring between 4pm-9pm Monday – Friday you will speak to a Kidsline Buddy – a specially trained teenage telephone counsellor.
To get the lowdown on Helplines and what happens when you call, whether you are really anonymous and and heaps more info, check out the Sticks ‘n Stones website.
Netsafe is an organisation that can provide information and support as well as free and confidential advice when you are being hurt or targeted online.
They can:
How to contact them
You can make a report through their website https://www.netsafe.org.nz/report/ or you can free phone them seven days a week between 8am and 5pm on 0508 NETSAFE.
What happens when I make a report?
You can make the report yourself, or someone can do it on your behalf.
When you phone them, they will ask you questions so they can understand what’s going on, how long it has been happening, who is involved, what evidence you have and any other information to help them to evaluate your report.
When you make a report online, you will be asked to select from a range of multi choice questions to give information about the situation and the support you (or the person you are making the report for) is receiving, give your contact information and also a ‘short summary’ of what happened.
You will also be asked how concerned you are for your safety.
Whether you make your report by phone or using the online form, you will be given a report number that will create a ‘thread’ of emails to keep all of the communication together.
If you make your report online, you will then receive an email confirming your report has been received and that one of the team will be in touch once they have evaluated it using the contact details you gave in the form.
Lara talks about a guy pretending to be her boyfriend on his Social Media and sharing details about ‘dates’ they had been on. She talks about the fact that people believe what they see online without questioning it.
Eve talks about her boyfriend logging into her social media account and sending messages which led to issues for her.
Ellie talks about having a Tinder profile set up in her name and what she did about it.
Jack talks about finding out someone was impersonating him on Grindr and getting the account taken down.
Created by:
Proudly supported by:
