How can I deal with this?

Be direct

Talk to someone in the group and let them know that you are not really sure what is going on.

Ask them why you keep being added or removed.  You will get a sense of whether this is a mistake or whether it might be on purpose to mess with how you are feeling.

From there you can decide what you want to do next.


Decide whether the group is worth the uncertainty.

If the uncertainty of whether you are in the group (or not) is causing you stress, adjust your settings so that you have to approve being added to a group, to find out more click HERE 

When you go through the steps to LEAVE A GROUP in Facebook, you also have the option to ‘Prevent other members from adding you back to this Group’ so that this is no longer an issue.


Take a break

Taking a break from Social Media and connecting with people in person or doing offline things that make you happy can help you to work out what you want to do next and give you some perspective.

If it is through a group chat, Instagram gives you the option to ‘temporarily disable your account’ so that you can take a break without losing your photos and contacts.

How to Temporarily Disable your account on Instagram

  1. Log into from a mobile browser or computer. You can’t temporarily disable your account from within the Instagram app.
  2. Tap or click the person icon in the top right and then select Edit Profile.
  3. Scroll down, then tap or click Temporarily disable my account in the bottom right.
  4. Select an option from the drop-down menu next to Why are you disabling your account? and re-enter your password. The option to disable your account will only appear after you’ve selected a reason from the menu.
  5. Tap or click Temporarily Disable Account.

Facebook lets you Deactivate your account so you can do the same thing and give yourself some space.

How to deactivate your account
  1. Click the downward arrow at the top right of any Facebook page.
  2. Select “Settings”
  3. Click “Security” in the left column.
  4. Choose “Deactivate your account”, then follow the steps to confirm.

Otherwise, you could take some time offline for a bit to spend time in person with your friends and family.

Have some good times and stop dwelling on the confusion around what has been happening online.


Talk about it

Chat to someone you trust about what is going on and how it is making you feel.

You can do this over text or messaging if doing it face to face is a bit scary or if you are not sure exactly what to say.

This gives you a chance to get someone  else’s point of view (and maybe they have been in a similar position) and sometimes talking it through helps you reach your own decision anyway.