What steps can I take?

Consider contacting the person who made the comment

If you think that getting in touch directly with the person that commented could be helpful, then this could be a good first option.

They may not be aware that you would not want to be included or mentioned in comments or posts like this.  They may see it as totally ok or even a bit of fun.

Letting them know that you would rather not be included, in a calm and clear way and that you would like the post or comment deleted can be a quick and effective step (but only if you feel confident that this will be received in a reasonable way).

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Get a second opinion

Talk to someone whose opinion you value and see what their take on it is.

They might have a different perspective to you and help you to look more objectively at the comment or post to decide whether anything needs to be done.

Depending on how we are feeling (or our relationship with the person who made the post/comment) when we first see something, we can sometimes over react.

You might find that leaving it/ignoring it is the best strategy.

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Adjust your settings

To make sure that you cannot be tagged in posts or comments in the future that you would rather not see (or have your friends and family see), change your settings so that you need to approve posts or comments before they go live.

Check out The TAKING CHARGE section for how to do this.


Untag yourself

If you have been tagged in a post or comment and this is making more people you know see it, untag yourself.

Check out the icons under ‘Report directly to the platform’ below for how to do this.


Report it to admin

Closed groups usually have someone (or a few people) that take the responsibility as admin for the group.  You can report posts or comments to them so that they can review the content.

They also have the ability to remove the person from the group or even block them permanently.

On Facebook, the admin can send the comment onto the Facebook team if they choose rather than dealing with it themselves.

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Report directly to the Platform

If there is not the option to report to the admin (or if you do not think they will review the post or comment objectively), you can report directly to the platform using the reporting tools.

Check out the icons below for more information on how to do this across the different platforms.

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Take a break ?

You might want to take a break from Social Media to help get some space.

Spending time with people who make you smile, doing things you enjoy can help you not get stuck with comments or posts that are bringing you down.

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Leave the group

If this has been going on pretty regularly lately or it is having a negative impact on your life, it might be worth removing yourself from the group.

Friends that care about you understand your feelings and don’t deliberately hurt you.