If you feel comfortable, let them know that you are finding their messaging too much and would like them to stop.
This could be a good time to update your privacy setting so that you can control who can message you.
You could also go through your friends or contacts lists to make sure that you are happy for everyone there to be able to message you and see what you are doing.
If the messages are worrying you or are making you feel hurt or scared, you can report them to Netsafe or to the platform themselves.
Screenshots are really helpful if you do want to report someone.
To find out how to use the reporting tools and how to Block people so that they can no longer message you on the different platforms, click the icons below.
If this is making you feel upset or vulnerable, reaching out to share what is going on with someone in your life can stop it from becoming overwhelming.
Take some time to chat to someone that you trust about what has been going on and how it has been making you feel. Make sure you ask if they have time to talk so that you are not interrupted or they are not in a rush (or even in a bad head space themselves).
They might have experienced something similar that they can tell you about. They might also have a different perspective or point of view that might help you look at the situation differently. Talking it through (even if you do this via text or messaging) can help you work out your own solution or work out what is really getting to you.
If you don’t feel comfortable or ok with taking action right now, try to take some time away from your device or Social Media.
This could help to take your mind off of the issue and stop the person from being able to contact you.
If it is through a group chat, Instagram gives you the option to ‘temporarily disable your account’ so that you can take a break without losing your photos and contacts.
How to Temporarily Disable your account on Instagram
If it is through a group on Facebook, they let you Deactivate your account so you can do the same thing and give yourself some space.
Otherwise, you could take some time offline for a bit to spend time in person with your friends and family.
Have some good times and stop dwelling on the confusion and hurt around what has been happening online.
Netsafe is an organisation that can provide information and support as well as free and confidential advice when you are being hurt or targeted online.
They can:
How to contact them
You can make a report through their website https://www.netsafe.org.nz/report/ or you can free phone them seven days a week between 8am and 5pm on 0508 NETSAFE.
What happens when I make a report?
You can make the report yourself, or someone can do it on your behalf.
When you phone them, they will ask you questions so they can understand what’s going on, how long it has been happening, who is involved, what evidence you have and any other information to help them to evaluate your report.
When you make a report online, you will be asked to select from a range of multi choice questions to give information about the situation and the support you (or the person you are making the report for) is receiving, give your contact information and also a ‘short summary’ of what happened.
You will also be asked how concerned you are for your safety.
Whether you make your report by phone or using the online form, you will be given a report number that will create a ‘thread’ of emails to keep all of the communication together.
If you make your report online, you will then receive an email confirming your report has been received and that one of the team will be in touch once they have evaluated it using the contact details you gave in the form.
Helplines are there to help if you want to talk (kōrero) with someone about what is going on and how it is making you feel. You can openly and honestly share your feelings without worrying about being judged.
It’s normal to worry about asking for help – but at Youthline we are here to listen and help you figure out what is right for you.
0800 376 633 24/7 support
free text 234 between 8am and midnight
or email talk@youthline.co.nz
Online Chat
Youthline’s online chat service is open between 7pm-11pm
A safe place for you to talk about anything at all.
0800 942 8787 (for 5–18 year olds). Phone counselling is available Monday to Friday, midday–11pm and weekends, 3pm–11pm.
Online chat is available 7pm–10pm daily Click HERE
They do say “Because a lot of young people use online chat, there is often a wait time before a counsellor is available. So if you need to speak to someone straight away, phone What’s Up and speak to a counsellor in person”
At Kidsline we think everyone needs to be heard, and we want to be here to talk things through with you, and listen to what’s happening to you. So give us a call, and talk to one of our Buddies!
0800 54 37 54 (0800 kidsline) for young people up to 18 years of age.
Kidsline is available 24/7 however if you ring between 4pm-9pm Monday – Friday you will speak to a Kidsline Buddy – a specially trained teenage telephone counsellor.
To get the lowdown on Helplines and what happens when you call, whether you are really anonymous and and heaps more info, check out the Sticks ‘n Stones website.
Bonnie talks about a rumour spread by a jealous ex that she was in a gang bang and how this was accepted as the truth. The hate and abuse that followed made her feel alone and worthless until she had an opportunity for a fresh start.
Tim talks about being bullied and that he should kill himself to deal with his problems and how he got support to get through.
Eve shares her story about feeling bullied online and a threat made about her and what she did to get through the situation.
Kate talks about when a ‘friend’ pretended to be a boy messaging her and how things got worse from there.
Kate talks about a friendship breaking down and then finding out she was being talked about in FB groups she wasn’t part of.
Sonia talks about a hate page that was set up at her school about someone else and how she stepped in to help.
Jen talks about being bullied online and getting a message ‘out of the blue’ to kill herself.
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