To make sure it does not become ‘your word against theirs’, take a screenshot of the messages to help you if you want to make a report.
Bullying or harassment breaches the terms and conditions of Social Media sites or Messaging platforms. You can report the messages directly so they can be removed.
After you have made a report, Block the user. This will stop you having to deal with more messages coming through. If things change later on, you can always ‘unblock’ them.
Check out the icons below for how you can Report harmful posts or comments and Block users on the different platforms .
If you need help, advice or support with any kind of online issue, Netsafe can help.
They are a non-profit organisation with a helpline set up to help people with online safety and online issues.
Netsafe have years of experience in helping young people deal with harm online, their service is free and confidential.
Find out more by visiting their website or checking out the services section.
Once you have a screenshot that you have saved somewhere else, delete the messages from your account so that you do not have to see it/them when you are chatting to your friends or scrolling through.
On Facebook, click on the three dots to the right of the comment and then it will show ‘Remove this’ click and then a box will check that you want to delete the comment. Click Delete.
On Instagram, swipe left on the comment. Choose the final icon, the bin on red background, tap it and the comment will be deleted (tap again to undo).
On Snapchat, any comments get sent to you through the chat feature so you can delete them from there, they are not posted publicly like other platforms.
It might be worth thinking about taking a break from Social Media for a bit so that you can spend time with your friends and family doing things to take your mind off what has been happening online.
We don’t mean deleting all your accounts and getting rid of your phone, but some time away from all of the hurt can help you deal with the situation later and help you shift your focus.
It us important to remember that this is someone else’s opinion and is not the truth. You can make the decision to dismiss what has been said and to know that this is someone else’s issue, not yours.
If it is through a group chat, Instagram gives you the option to ‘temporarily disable your account’ so that you can take a break without losing your photos and contacts.
How to Temporarily Disable your account on Instagram
If it is through a group on Facebook, they let you Deactivate your account so you can do the same thing and give yourself some space.
Otherwise, you could still take some time offline for a bit to spend time in person with your friends and family.
Have some good times and stop dwelling on the confusion and hurt around what has been happening online.
Take a look at your privacy settings and lock down who can send you messages and see your posts.
That way, you can have more control over what you receive and who can get in touch with you.
If things have got nasty with one person, often they will get their friends involved too so using the privacy settings can help stop you having to deal with this too.
Check out the TAKING CHARGE section for how to do that through the different Social Media and Messaging sites.
Keeping something like this to yourself can sometimes make the situation feel overwhelming and like no one is there for you. Reaching out can can be the first step in getting through a rough time.
If the messages are starting to get to you, a lot of the time you can start to second guess other friends or think that everyone else might be ‘in on it’ or feel the same way.
Talking to someone in your life that cares about you can be really helpful. It is up to you who you talk to, but letting someone else know what is going on gives you the chance to get their take on it, to give their perspective and to reassure you that you have people that are there for you.
If you don’t feel confident talking to someone in person, you could get in touch with them via text or direct message. Sometimes it can be easier to write something down instead of having to do it in person; especially if you are pretty upset about it.
Helplines are also an option if you are not too sure about talking to someone in your life.
Harming someone by Targeting or Harassing them online can be against the law
In New Zealand, there is now a law to help tackle the most serious instances of bullying and harassment by people using digital technology.
This is the Harmful Digital Communications Act (HDCA).
It is illegal to send messages and post material online that deliberately causes a victim ‘serious emotional distress’.
What does that mean?
It means that as well as reporting it to different Social Media Platforms, you have additional support available to you to get photos, other hurtful images or messages taken down and stop them from being shared again.
This can be through Netsafe, the District Court or the Police and can involve either criminal or civil remedies. Criminal Remedies Criminal remedies could include a fine of up to $50,000 (for an individual) or up to two years in jail. There are also criminal OR civil remedies under the The Harmful Digital Communications Act (HDCA) if someone causes ‘serious emotional distress’ online. The criminal remedies do not apply to children (aged 0-13), but can be applied to young people aged 14-16 (within the youth justice system) and individuals aged 17+ (who are treated as adults within the formal criminal justice system). This also means that the police may be involved and that there is a clear process that is followed after you report what is happening. In some cases this will involve a court case. It is important to remember that for the police to charge somebody with breaking a law, they have to have enough evidence to clearly prove who it was and exactly what happened. The police also have to weigh up whether what is happening to you, meets all of the requirements of the law. Sometimes, even though it is not ok and making you really upset, this is not enough to charge someone. Civil Remedies Netsafe can support you with some civil remedies including working with both parties to reach a resolution, working with online content hosts (like Social Media platforms) but they cannot punish anyone or force them to do something. Civil remedies could also involve a court order where a person can be forced to remove or delete content, give an apology or the identity of someone who posted anonymously revealed.
The main one that is being used for someone bullying or harassing you online is the Harmful Digital Communications Act.
Other options or remedies are available under:
If you are being bullied or harassed online, Netsafe explain on their website that they can offer advice for lots of different situations.
These include when someone has put something online that:
They have a trained team that can assess your situation and support you with working our your options.
They are the ‘approved agency’ for the Harmful Digital Communications Act.
This means that the Ministry of Justice have given them the authority to provide support to deal with and prevent online issues and this includes cyberbullying specifically.
The Act is a piece of New Zealand law created to prevent and reduce harm caused by online bullying, harassment, revenge porn and other forms of online abuse and intimidation.
To do this, the Act has introduced:
There are also communications principles to clearly outline your rights and responsibilities.
Communications Principles
A digital communication should not:
Netsafe will investigate when a complaint or report is made about someone breaching one or more of the Communications Principles and work with the people involved to find a resolution.
On their site, Netsafe outline how they can help. They explain:
‘We’ll tell you what you can do to keep safe, and if there’s anything that can be done to stop the abuse. We may try to work with the person who is harassing you to get them to stop – but we won’t contact them unless you say it’s OK.
We might also be able to contact the person or the organisation that runs the website, app or service that the messages or posts are on and ask for their help to resolve the issue.
Our service aims to lessen the harm caused to people targeted online by using mediation and negotiation to reach a resolution for both parties. Netsafe cannot punish people for their actions online, or force them to take action”.
Netsafe is an organisation that can provide information and support as well as free and confidential advice when you are worried or hurt online.
They can:
You can make a report through their website https://www.netsafe.org.nz/report/ or you can free phone them seven days a week on 0508 NETSAFE. They’re open between 8am and 8pm on weekdays, and between 9am and 5pm on weekends and public holidays.
You can make the report yourself, or someone can do it on your behalf.
When you phone them, they will ask you questions so they can understand what’s going on- like how long it has been happening, who is involved and any other information to help them to evaluate your report.If you have evidence like screenshots or links to content and messages, it’s helpful to be able to send these through.
When you make a report online, you will be asked to select from a range of multi choice questions to give information about the situation and the support you (or the person you are making the report for) is receiving, give your contact information and also a ‘short summary’ of what happened.
You will also be asked how concerned you are for your safety.
Whether you make your report by phone or using the online form, you will be given a report number that will create a ‘thread’ of emails to keep all of the communication together.If you make your report online, you will then receive an email confirming your report has been received and that one of the team will be in touch once they have evaluated it using the contact details you gave in the form.
One of the Netsafe team will get in touch with you after they have evaluated your report. They will let you know what your options are and what steps they can take on your behalf.
They will let you know if what you are reporting is a criminal offence and needs to be reported to your local Police.
They will keep you updated on the progress of the steps they take on your behalf.
You can also get in touch using the email thread or the helpline if anything else happens or if you have more information to share.
If Netsafe is unable to help you to resolve the situation, you have the option to take the matter to the aDistrict Court, but you need to try and resolve things with Netsafe first.
The Court is able to order the removal of content and a published apology.
If your situation is very serious, it may fall under the criminal part of the Act. Criminal cases are dealt with by the Police, and Netsafe can let you know if you should be making a report to the Police.
The Police can apply to the court (without going through NetSafe) in specific cases.
If you can’t resolve the situation with Netsafe and you do apply to the District Court, they have a broad range of options available to them, including:
Under this process, the court will order people to do certain things – they won’t receive fines or time in jail.
If the case is a criminal case (handled by the Police), the court will be able to issue fines and jail sentences.
Bonnie talks about a rumour spread by a jealous ex that she was in a gang bang and how this was accepted as the truth. The hate and abuse that followed made her feel alone and worthless until she had an opportunity for a fresh start.
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